The Kissing Game

All day Friday, I was thinking about how Gavin’s visit might go that evening.  I knew my mom would like him because he was such a good-natured person, but would Dad?  It was hard to tell, because even though Dad knew boys who were friends of mine from our old neighborhood, and he liked them, it didn’t mean he would like the idea of me dating them.  Or whatever me and Gavin were doing was called.  Not dating.  Good friends maybe.  In any case, he was the very first boy I was bringing home to meet them. 

I was utterly surprised in the first place that Dad decided to make sure he was available that evening to meet Gavin.  He spent a lot of evenings out with his friends, doing whatever middle-aged men do, I guess.  His being out made for much less arguing between him and Mama, so she didn’t mind at all.  Things were not perfect, but they had definitely gotten better over the years, so I felt comfortable inviting guests over.  I just hoped my parents wouldn’t embarrass me by asking Gavin a bunch of questions like he was my boyfriend who came to ask my hand in marriage or something, especially since we weren’t even a couple. 

I could just picture Dad asking Gavin, “What are your intentions with my baby girl? Because if you hurt her, I’ll track you down and kill you.”

I had to shake the scene out of my head.  Dad wasn’t that crazy.  At least, I hoped he wasn’t.

 

When the last bell of the day rang for us to go home, I quickly gathered everything I needed for the weekend from my locker.  Then I took a deep breath and went to stand in the park-n-ride area of the wide driveway at the front door of the school where kids were picked up by their parents, or girls went to meet their boyfriends to ride in flashy, souped-up cars that they spent all their drug money on to spruce up.  Gavin pulled up thirty seconds later in his black Ford Escort.  I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, as if I was doing something wrong and didn’t have permission.  No one was paying me any mind.  Feeling stupid for being so self-conscious, I walked over to the car, opened the door and got in. 

“What’s up, lady?!”  Gavin greeted me.  “Long time!” He leaned over in his seat to give me a hug.  I was embarrassed, thinking everybody was definitely watching me this, but I hugged him back, enjoying the closeness.

“It hasn’t been that long,” I said as we let go of each other. Then I looked at the other kids walking to the buses as he pulled off.  Still no one was looking. “I just saw you at your game here a couple of weeks ago.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t get to talk to you or anything until I got home and called you.  It’s never been just me and you out somewhere.  We gotta start hanging out, especially after my season is over!”

“That would be nice.” 

I wondered what his girl would think about it.  Even worse, I wondered if he would want me to meet her.  I would be so jealous!

“So tell me how your day went,” Gavin said.

We had our regular conversation on the way to my house while I gave him directions on how to get there.  It flowed just as easily as always, except I was fully aware of his physical presence.  Not just his being next to me in the car, but his fully masculine presence, his essence, his aroma, the bass of his voice as he sat next to me,  engaged in my conversation while focusing on the road.  I could smell what had to be expensive cologne, and if not, he wore it very well.  Cologne on most boys usually smelled like they used half the bottle in an effort to hide that outdoor funk they always seemed to have.  And perhaps it was only due to the confines of the small car, but his voice seemed to reverberate within me.  I began to get all excited just listening to him.  Calm down and look out the window, Desiree, don’t hurt yourself, I thought.  This is not even that kind of party.   That’s better.  Nice shrubbery they got there…oh, someone left their bike in that yard…that house has the prettiest sunflowers in the summer.  What did he just say?

“Huh?” I asked, turning to face him.

“What, were you daydreaming?”

“No, just thinking about something that happened at school.  Almost there,” I said before he could ask me to share.  “Turn left at this next road.”

 

When we finally got to my house, I appreciated once again how the house and lawn looked.  Dad was the best at creating an amazing view of it all.  When we got in, I also appreciated Mama’s tendency to be nearly obsessive about cleanliness.  Funny how I always took these things for granted.  As expected, no one else was home yet.

“Very nice home you got here,” Gavin announced.

“Thanks.  Want something to drink?”

“Sure, what do you have?”

“Mama makes good iced tea, want some of that?  Or apple juice, milk or water?”

“I’ll take iced tea, thanks.”

I turned on the television in the living room and handed Gavin the remote, told him to have a seat on the couch, then went to make us both drinks.  I could hear Prince Dejour on TV talking to a guest on Rap City while I poured.  This isn’t bad, I thought.  I’m not even nervous anymore.  Mama will be home in a little while, and she’s great at entertaining.  When I returned to the living room and sat beside Gavin, handing him his drink, he thanked me, sipped it once, put the glass on the table and turned towards me.  I put my glass down as well.  I didn’t want him watching me drink, because I was clumsy enough to spill it if his eyes were on me.

“You’re right, that tea is good.  So what’s up girl?  Whatchu been up to?”

“What?  You already know, don’t you?  I mean, I talk to you pretty much every day.” 

“Yeah, that’s right, we do talk all the time.  But now we’re right here in the same place, like I was saying in the car.  Isn’t it different with us being here together?  I know it feels different for me.”

“It does? How?” I asked.

“Well, for starters, I can’t do this over the phone.”

I saw it coming, but it still came too fast for me to stop it, not that I would have wanted to.  Gavin leaned in and kissed me, full and deep.  I could feel his tongue on mine, urging me to respond to it, and I did.  It was a long kiss, one that gave me time to wonder where it came from all of a sudden.  And it felt good, and tasted delicious, like strawberry mint gum.  It wasn’t too hard, but was just hard enough to let me know that he knew what he was doing, that he knew how to take control, and when his lips pressed a little harder, I knew that he liked it too.

 

 

The Old Flame

When I arrived at the house, it was apparent that Kamal had been there at least half an hour before I arrived.  When he opened the door to let me in, I saw that he had changed out of his designer casual sweater and slacks and put on a plain white tee shirt and jeans, and I could smell something good baking in the oven, something savory. 

“Something smells good,” I said, and hugged him, truly glad to be in the presence of someone familiar rather than spending my remaining time in Bullock alone in a hotel room. 

Kamal helped me bring my couple of bags in the house and said, “Thought I’d cook something so we don’t have to order out.  Go ahead and put your stuff down and get comfortable, and I’ll show you around my place.”

I could tell that Kamal was proud of his home.  It was a relatively small, two-bedroom home, but was still three levels with an unfinished basement.  He told me he’d gotten a deal on it and had to do some work on it to make it inhabitable.  The work was still not quite finished.  There were several scarred surfaces and torn up walls, and the carpet needed replacing, but he’d done a good job.  I admired what he’d accomplished so far. 

Most of the rooms were barren of any furniture.  There was only the bed where he slept and two couches in the basement.  Of course there were electronics.  TVs, stereos, a PlayStation.  The last room he took me to see was the upstairs bathroom, and when he opened the door to it, I was speechless.  I looked in amazement, satisfaction, and a little confusion as I saw the display of at least twenty scented candles that lit the large bathroom, and dark red rose petals scattered on the floor with a trail that led from the door of the bathroom to the big porcelain tub which was filled with water and shimmering clouds of foaming bubbles.        

I felt Kamal’s eyes on me, assessing my reaction.

“That’s for you,” he said, smiling when I turned to him. “Go ahead and get in before the water gets cold.  I gotta go check on dinner. I’ll bring your bags up for you.” He gave me a soft, reassuring squeeze on my shoulder and turned to go downstairs.

I decided not to try and figure out what to make of the situation right then. When he brought my bags and rested them by the bathroom door,  I picked one of them up, closed the door, and quickly undressed to relax in the bath. 

The water was still hot, and I assumed he’d run the bath when I called him from down the street to tell him I was almost there.  I was appreciative.  The heat seemed to massage away any tension left from the drive down, and was calming after all the excitement of the day.  As I leaned back on a plush terry bath pillow, it occurred to me that for the first time in a long time, I had no major issues that had to be dealt with right then, or the next day, or even the next month.  With my mind at ease with the candlelight and lavender aroma, I began to doze off.

A few minutes later, there was a light tap on the bathroom door. 

“Yes?” I called, still lying back in the bath. I opened my heavy lids enough to see Kamal slightly opening the door to peer in.  “Everything okay?”

“Terrific. Thank you,” I replied.  “I needed this.”

“You’re very welcome, Desiree.”

Then Kamal stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.  I wasn’t surprised.

 

Does your family give you “too much” relationship advice?

“I know you like him, we like him too.  He seems to be a very nice and considerate young man.  But what can he do for you?” Uncle Marvin asked.

Grandma added, “I was talking to your Great-Aunt Stella today, and she said the same thing.  She thinks you need somebody with more education.  His should at least match yours, if his degree is not higher than yours.”

The nerve of them, I thought.  How dare they butt into my personal life in such a manner!  I had only brought Mason there as an act of courtesy and for the family to meet him, not for them to judge him or our relationship!  And then they brought my Great-Aunt Stella into this!  They knew I’d always valued Aunt Stella’s opinions.  She was a very wise woman who had been a teacher in Herschel’s public schools for decades.  I was even in her class once.  But Aunt Stella should not have been involved in this. 

What bothered me even more was the fact that my uncle and grandmother were acting like I was brought up in some well-to-do, upper-class environment, which was far from the truth.  My parents had managed to do great for themselves as far as their living situation and status, but it had taken them a lot of hard work.  No one in this family had been born with silver spoons in their mouths, that was for sure.  So why should I have started acting all uppity at that point?  Of course, I had wanted Mason to go to college, but he said he wasn’t ready just then, and I was okay with that.  It’s not like he didn’t work hard at what he did.  I felt that if I had been willing to accept Mason the way he was, they should have made it their business to do the same.  The whole situation had gotten way out of hand, and by the time Mason and I boarded the flight back home, my heart was heavy with indecision.   

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Do you believe that family always knows what’s best for you?

How has your family butted into your relationships, and what did you do about it?

        

 

Not Like Me At All…

We were about halfway to the front of the mall, walking at a slow stroll, when Gavin himself passed right by us and went into The King’s Music Café.  Tawana saw me eyeing him again. 

“Why is he so tall?!” I said, trying to mask my interest.  Tawana knew better.

“Wanna listen to some music real quick before your mom gets here?” She asked, smirking.  I had to smile.  Tawana knew me way too well in the small amount of time we had become cool with each other.

I glanced at my watch.  Fifteen minutes to go. “Yeah, let’s see what they got.”

We walked into the small shop and I saw Gavin over in the rap section.  I went over to where he was and stood about five feet away, pretending to browse the selection of cassettes and CDs that covered the wall in alphabetical order.  When he finally chose a CD, I hurriedly picked one, too.  Naughty By Nature.  Great, I already have this one.  I would just have to return it later because Gavin’s long strides had him at the cashier already.  What could I say to him?  I thought as I came up behind him.  He had chosen a CD by Onyx.

“Oh is that the one with ‘Slam’ on it?” I asked a little too anxiously.  Stupid question.  Of course it is.

“Oh, yeah, that’s my jam,” he replied, glancing back at me.  Then he turned back around, about to leave.  I realized I was still holding the Naughty By Nature CD in my hand and would need to pay for it in a hurry.  If I just left it on the counter, I would be embarrassed if Gavin overheard the cashier ask me about it and thought I couldn’t pay for it.  I had to get his attention immediately.

“Hey, don’t I know you?  You go to my school or something?” I called to him while I reached into my purse for the money.

Gavin turned at the entrance and faced me.  “I don’t think so,” he said, “but what school do you go to?”

“Herschel.  I’m Desiree.”

“I go to Agnes, but we play yall all the time.  You might have seen me then.  My name’s Gavin.  I have an aunt who works at Herschel.  Ms. Tyler.”

“The librarian?!  Okay, she’s really nice.”  I couldn’t think of anything else to say about her.

“Yeah, I know,” he said with a small smile.  He probably knew I was nervous and I bet he was cracking up inside.  I looked to find Tawana still browsing music, glancing up to check on me, and I turned back to Gavin with my new duplicate CD in hand.  Then, occurred to me.

“My grandmother does Ms. Tyler’s hair.  She owns a salon in Herschel.  Every time Ms. Tyler comes to the salon and I’m there, she gives me a peppermint.  Ever since I was about five.” Grandma Vonnie had owned the small salon on the Reef since my dad was little.

“Oh, that sounds just like her!” Gavin laughed.  “She loves kids, even almost grown ones.  She still offers to bake me a chocolate cake whenever I go to see her.  Well, hey, I gotta go, it was nice talking to you.”  Then he walked away.

I was utterly disappointed.  Gavin must have had a girlfriend because he obviously didn’t want to talk to me, or maybe he just didn’t like me at all.  He hadn’t even thought about asking me for my number.  I felt as rejected as if I had asked him to dinner and a movie and he said no to my face.  He seemed so nice.  Oh well, I thought as I turned to get Tawana who was still in the music store.

Feeling embarrassed, I was formulating what to tell Tawana about what happened, because she was definitely gonna ask me if Gavin had asked for my number.  I couldn’t lie about it, because once I did that, she would continue to ask if he called me.  She looked up at me and started tucking a cassette back in its spot on the wall, when she suddenly stopped moving and smiled, interested in something behind me. 

“Hey, Desiree?” Gavin spoke.  I drew in a breath in surprise as I whipped around to face him. “Why don’t we exchange numbers, keep in touch?  You seem like a cool person.  That is, if you want to.”

Was he kidding? Of course I wanted to!  I didn’t know what it was about Gavin, but I really wanted to learn more about him as a person.  I just needed to seem calm about it.  Calm down, Desiree.

“Sure, we can talk,” I said. He borrowed a pen and scrap of paper from the cashier and we switched numbers.

“I’ll holla at you later then,” Gavin said as he tucked my number in his wallet. 

“Okay,” I said.  As soon as he left, Tawana walked over to me.

“Happy now?” she asked with a big grin.  “I’ve never seen you act like that before…putting yourself out there like that.  Gavin’s alright, though.  He’s real popular, and nice too apparently.  And he can definitely play some ball.”

I wondered what else he could do with those big hands and nice lips…then I had to clear the thought from my mind.  That wasn’t where I wanted to go with Gavin.  But I couldn’t wait for him to call me so I could hear his deep voice in my ear.

“Just tryna be like you, playa!” I said, playfully bumping into Tawana as we left the store to meet Mama out front.

“Whatever!” Tawana said laughing. “Right now, I wouldn’t mind being like you instead.”

Question: Have you ever gone out of your way or behaved in an entirely different way just to meet someone?